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Child Sexual Abuse
What is child sexual abuse?
Child sexual abuse is sexual contact between a child and
adult or older child for the gratification of the offender.
It includes: physical contact, such as handling of the
child’s or the offender’s genitals or breasts, oral sex, or
attempted or actual penetration of the child’s vagina or
rectum; and nonphysical contact, such as forcing a child to
look at the offender’s genitals, exposure of a child’s
genitals, talking to a child in a sexually explicit manner,
peeping at the child in the bath or while he or she is
undressing (voyeurism), exposing a child to pornographic
materials, or exploiting a child through pornography or
prostitution.
Does sexual abuse have to be forced?
Sexual abuse is always forced, even though the force may be
subtle rather than being an obvious physical attack. Force
can be psychological: examples are bribery, taking advantage
of children’s dependence and lack of knowledge, threatening
them with harm or withdrawal of love, and threatening that
they will be blamed or that their families will be hurt.
Force is always involved in sexual abuse because children
clearly lack the power and authority of adults.
Who abuses?
The abuser usually is someone the child knows and trusts.
Many times the offender is known to the child and the
offender often is a relative, even a parent. Anyone in a
position of authority and with access to children
(babysitter, elder sibling, teacher, doctor, youth leader,
counselor, faith based leader) can abuse a child. When the
offender is a family member or a person whose relationship
to the child is like that of a family member, the sexual
abuse is called incest.
How does sexual abuse occur?
Sexual abuse may be a single incident, but more often it is
a gradual increase of inappropriate behavior that develops
over time. Inappropriate behavior may take progressive
forms. For example, the offender may begin by touching the
child’s genitals “accidentally,” followed by fondling the
genitals or exposing himself or herself, and then proceed to
more direct sexual contact.
Since “time heals all wounds,” isn’t it better to forget
that abuse happened?
No. It’s known that sexual abuse can be a terrible trauma,
causing many problems in adult life. All wounds need air to
heal. It’s crucial for children to be allowed to talk about
what’s happened to them so they can work through their
feelings while they’re young, before long-term damage is
done. Most abused children can benefit from some counseling
to help them work towards recovery. Also, many parents can
benefit from guidance to help them through their emotional
reactions to the abuse of their child, and to learn how to
be most helpful and supportive to their child.
You mention the “older child” as an offender. Isn’t sex
play among children common and normal?
Exploratory sex play that involves no force among children
of about the same age is common and normal. When there is a
significant age difference, however, the older child is
using force, even if subtle. Older children who sexually
abuse are often being sexually abused themselves, or may
have been sexually abused previously, and are acting out the
trauma of this unhealed wound.
Won’t children show fear of someone who is sexually
abusing them?
Sometimes, but not always. Children’s reactions can be
confusing, both to them and to their parents. If the
offender is a parent or other loved person, children may
show no fear or may actively want to be with the offender.
In other cases children may show fear or reluctance to be
around the offender. Sometimes the contact may feel
physically pleasurable to the child while at the same time,
the child may be feeling psychologically uncomfortable and
unsafe. The child may not know how to respond in the face
of these contradictory feelings.
Isn’t sexual abuse sometimes the child’s fault?
Never. Children who are sexually abused may have learned to
behave in a sexually provocative way. Appearing to initiate
sexual behavior may be a device the abused child uses to
reduce his or her anxiety about the encounter. Sexual abuse
is always the responsibility of the offender.
Is there any way to pick out potential offenders?
Sexual offenders are not necessarily easy to pick out. They
may have the appearance of respectability and may hold
positions of authority. No single psychological profile
fits all offenders. However, be aware of people close to
your children who:
- Treat children as property by grabbing them, forcing
attentions and affection, tickling excessively, and
generally showing disrespect for the children’s requests and
privacy
- Relate to children in a sexual or seductive manner, for
example, by commenting “She’s a sexy little thing.”
- Use gifts and favors as the main way of relating to
children
- Entice children into their homes or into activities with
them, or show excessive friendliness
Some offenders will exhibit a few or all of these behaviors.
Many will give no sign of offensive behavior. Because it is
impossible to tell who is a sex offender until he or she
abuses a child, the best strategy for prevention is to
prepare children so they won’t be victims.
How can I evaluate child care centers, babysitters, and
persons in whose care I leave my children?
Be aware of the behaviors mentioned earlier in any people
who have access to your children. Ask for—and check—the
references for any adult or adolescent who cares for your
child. Listen to your children’s reactions to any person
who cares for them. Ask them about how things went with the
person, and listen not only to their words but also to the
feelings they express. Feelings of reluctance, sadness,
fear, or worry should be discussed further to determine
what’s causing your child to feel these emotions.
Modified from “Talking About Child Sexual Abuse,” by
Cornelia Spelman
© 1985 Prevent Child Abuse America
All rights reserved. Reprinted with Permission.
For a complete brochure, contact Prevent Child Abuse
Wisconsin, 1-800-CHILDREN
For a list of signs sexual abuse, see
Recogn
izing and
Reporting Child Abuse and Neglect
For information on how to talk to your child about sexual
abuse, see
How to Talk to Children About
Sexual Abuse
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