A little preparation can go a long way. Before you head out on your errands, ask yourself how you and your children are feeling. Are you or your children too tired or hungry to run errands? If so, maybe going another time would be a better idea, or maybe someone could watch your children while you go alone. Also, try to choose times when the stores are less likely to be crowded.

If you decide to head out, talk with your children beforehand. Let your children know that running errands with you for holiday preparations is a privilege. This will make them feel special and more eager to please you. You might even consider providing your children with an incentive. Let your children know that if they follow your rules they will be rewarded with a special treat, such as getting to choose a certain cereal or snack at the end of the outing, agreeing to play a special game with them when you get home, or letting them have a friend over for dinner or to play.

Before you run errands with your children, you will also want to let your children know what you expect of them. Try to focus on what you want your children to do, instead of what you don’t want them do. For instance, instead of saying ‘don’t touch anything’, try telling your children to keep their hands to themselves, or better yet, to hold your hand.

You may also want to talk to your children about what to do if they become separated from you. Tell small children to stay where they are if they become separated from you and that you will find them. Talk about who it would be safe for your children to talk to in order to get help. With older children, discuss where a good place to meet up would be. You may want to carry a recent photo of your child in case you become separated and you need help finding your child.

Once you are out, remember to never leave your young children unattended—it’s easy for a small child to wander off and get lost in the sea of other shoppers. Even children who are sitting in shopping carts—who can’t walk away—should be watched closely, as they could become injured if they try to get out of the cart on their own.

You can help keep your children involved by giving them choices. For instance, let them pick which store you go to first. You could also make a game out of shopping; have your children find something that is a certain shape or color, or pick out a certain letter to find on boxes and bags. Or, give your children some responsibility and let them feel important by doing something grown-ups usually do, like handing the cashier the money.

Praise your child’s good behavior. Give them a hug, tell them they did a good job, or give them a high five. If your children are acting in a way that is inappropriate and doesn’t follow the rules, tell them ‘no’, explain the appropriate behavior, and then ignore the inappropriate behavior. If inappropriate behaviors continue and a tantrum ensues, try to remain calm and take your children to a less public place such as a bathroom or outside the store and give them time to ‘cool down’ and wait until they are ready to act in an acceptable manner. While you may feel frustrated, try to remember that young children don’t always have the language to tell you if they’re tired or over-stimulated. Help them take a break before you return to your errands.

It’s also a good idea to become aware of how you are feeling while you are shopping as well. You may be the one who is tired or frustrated. Take care of yourself. If all else fails, go home with your children and either run your errands another time or find someone to watch your children while you go alone.