When children bring home report cards that indicate performance that parents consider poor, parents may be tempted to punish or blame their child. However, punishing a child for poor grades will only lower a child’s self-esteem and make him or her feel more stressed and anxious—which won’t help them perform any better next time!

Instead of focusing on the past, parents can try to focus on the future. Patti Herman, Executive Director of Prevent Child Abuse Wisconsin, suggests that parents consider poor grades as an opportunity to become more involved in their child’s school life. Herman explains, ‘instead of dwelling on your child’s poor grades, take some time to think about why your child’s grades are low and what you can do to help your child improve his grades next time.’

The following are suggestions of ways to diffuse parents’ and children’s tension around poor grades and ways they can plan to work together during the next school year.

Tips For Parents

• Sit down with your child and look over the report card.
• Be calm. Let your child tell you about his/her grades.
• Praise your child. Find at least one good thing about the report card – attendance, conduct, neatness, etc.
• Be realistic about your child’s capabilities.
• Ask your child how you can help him or her do better.
• Make a plan with your child’s teacher. Ask for advice about other resources in your community that might help.

Tips For Students

• Think positively. You are a special person. Be proud of what you were able to do.
• Make a plan. Think about what you can do so your grades are better next time.
• Try your best. That is the most important factor in success.

It’s important for parents to remember that success in life does not necessarily depend on the grades children get in school, but, instead, on the attitudes, coping skills, and ability to persevere that he develops early in life by modeling himself on those around him.

Prevent Child Abuse Wisconsin is a statewide, nonprofit organization that builds community resources, provides training and public awareness, and carries out advocacy activities in order to strengthen child abuse prevention efforts in Wisconsin. Founded in 1978, Prevent Child Abuse Wisconsin is a state chapter of Prevent Child Abuse America. For more information, please call 1-800-CHILDREN or visit www.preventchildabusewi.org.