It may be difficult to understand how teens, who seem much less vulnerable than young children, can become victims of abuse. Many people believe that by the time children reach their teens they should have the knowledge and ability to keep themselves safe and take action to stop abuse. Patti Herman, Executive Director of Prevent Child Abuse Wisconsin, explains that this widely held perception has contributed to a situation in our society where there is not much attention focused on adolescent abuse. ‘We do teens a huge disservice when we, as adults, don’t take the time to understand the dynamics of adolescent abuse and take steps to help protect them from being abused,’ Herman said.

Teens who are abused may be experiencing a continuation of abuse they endured at a younger age or they may begin experiencing abuse for the first time when they reach adolescence. If the abuse has been ongoing, the abuser may have convinced the child that she brought the abuse on herself by her actions. In these situations the teen’s guilt or shame may be preventing her from taking steps to make the abuse stop. In addition, the coercion or threats that are often part of the abuse situation may keep a child from seeking help. ‘We need to establish open communication and trusting relationships with the teens in our lives so they can talk to us when they find themselves in abusive or potentially abusive situations,’ Herman said. She went on to explain that abuse thrives on secrecy. Teens who are trying to ‘fit in’ with their peers may not want to call attention to themselves as a victim of abuse and this may contribute to the secrecy that allows the abuse to happen.

For teens who were not abused at a younger age, abuse might be the result of conflicts between parents and teens who are trying to exert their independence. Parents may not know how to react to their teen’s rapidly changing moods and their attempts to seek an individual identity through wearing wild clothes, trying out new hair styles or associating with different friends. As teens have grown they have also become stronger and better able to challenge their parents authority, which may cause conflicts in the family. Teens are also at risk for abuse because their ‘universe’ is bigger than it was during early childhood and there is an increased likelihood that they may encounter people who might abuse them.

Interestingly, some teens may actually appear to be willing participants in their own abuse, particularly in cases of teens being sexually involved with adults. Teens by their very nature are curious about sexuality and they may find the sexual attention of adults flattering. Some teens become involved with adults in their everyday life, while others are enticed by strangers they meet through the internet. Whatever the case may be, Herman notes that even though a teen may appear to be willing to get involved with an adult, any sexual relationship between a teen and adult is a crime.

Another thing that many people don’t realize is that teens who take part in dangerous activities (like running away, doing drugs, drinking or indiscriminate sexual activity) may actually be doing so in reaction to abuse instead of typical teen rebelliousness. ‘Here’s where communication with your teen is so important,’ stresses Herman. ‘You need to spend time getting to know your child so that you recognize when behaviors are not typical behaviors for that child, and then you need to find a way to talk with the child about what is going on in his life.’

While teens may tell you otherwise, they are still learning about how to be safe in the world and are still in need of our protection. The challenge for everyone who has a teen in their life is to find ways to provide that protection while still encouraging and supporting the child’s individual development.

Prevent Child Abuse Wisconsin is a statewide, nonprofit organization that builds community resources, provides training and public awareness, and carries out advocacy activities in order to strengthen child abuse prevention efforts in Wisconsin. Founded in 1978, Prevent Child Abuse Wisconsin is a state chapter of Prevent Child Abuse America. For more information, call 1-800-CHILDREN or visit www.preventchildabusewi.org.